Batcrazy family
by Donakiko
Summary: Random drabbles set in the life of our favourite family! "We're not crazy, we're Batcrazy' Warning: I ship JasonXDick and TimXKon. Don't like, don't read.
1. Sibling night out

It was a quiet night in Gotham during the patrol.

Until….

"Release me this instant Drake!" Robin yelled at the boy who was holding him from behind by his cape. "Release me or I will kill you!"

The Red Robin scoffed at Robin, not letting go of the hold and keeping the younger off the ground so that his feet only just touched the surface of the rooftop. "I don't think so Dami, this is payback for last night!"

Robin jerked his shoulder to the side, using the momentum to spin himself around since Red Robin was holding him by his cape and launch out a side kick, catching the third boy wonder in the chest. Red Robin let out a groan of pain and released the hold on his brother's cape.

Robin landed on the ground in a crouch. Pushing forward on one knee and kicking his other leg out behind him, successfully kicking Red Robin in the solar plexus.

Red Robin fell back, his spine hitting the gravel like roof hard. His eyes snapped open in anger and he pushed his hands over his shoulder, pulling his knees back and using the force of his two legs, flipped up onto his feet and charged at Robin.

Meanwhile, over at the edge of the rooftop, the two older brothers were watching the two over their shoulders in amusement.

"You know, they're gonna kill each other one day" Red hood noted, looking back over the city his forearm leaning on his knee and the foot on the edge of the rooftop.

"You mean, if you don't kill them first" Nightwing added with a small amused smile on his face. He turned his gaze away from the two robins and continued to swing his legs through the air out of habit, his heels occasionally brushing against the side of the building.

Red Hood scoffed lightly "Nah, they'll kill each other long before I get to strangle them"

Nightwing smirked "Oh really? Well then I suppose there's no point in telling you what they did to your cat"

Red hood stiffened slightly, causing Nightwing to chuckle. "How'd you know I have a-" He suddenly turned and glared down at his older brother "WHAT DID THEY DO!"

Nightwing laughed out loud. "To put it simply, I don't think she'll be licking herself clean for a while…" He glanced over at Red Hood staring at him, practically seeing his eye twitch despite the hood.

"Oh….they're SO DEAD!" Red hood turned on his heel, fist clenched and ready to pummel the two into dust.

Red Robin and Robin froze at the shout and glanced over at him. Red Robin with his bo staff in hand and Robin with his (Unnecessarily) sharp birdarang.

"Uh….what are we dead for?" Red Robin asked.

"Whatever it was, I can guarantee that it was entirely Drake's doing" Robin added, earning a death glare from Red Robin.

"You little-"

"What…" Red Hood's strained whisper just met the two boy's ears. " Did. You. Do. To. My CAT !"

Red Robin chuckled nervously. "Oh…so that's what we're dead for…"

Robin nodded "Again, it was entirely Drakes doing"

"Me?!" Red Robin yelled "You're the one who broke the vase!"

"But it was you who brought out the paint containers"

"You're the one who threw that pickle jar!"

"Yet you are the one who dodged it and caused the vase to be broken"

"But you threw it, meaning it's your fault that it hit the vase and that broken piece made a hole in the paint can!"

"Had you not dodged then the vase would not have been broken, the piece would not have made a hole in the paint canister and Todd's cat would not have been dyed that infernal colour"

"If I didn't dodge I could'a got a concussion!"

"I could live with that"

"You bra-"

"BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP!"

Robin and Red robin cringed, though Robin's was less noticeable. Glancing over at Red Hood, only to see him looking as shocked at them and staring at Nightwing.

Nightwing sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose "Honestly, you're giving me a migraine!"

The two mumbled their apologies as Red Hood placed a hand on Nightwing's shoulder.

"You okay Dickie-bird?"

Nightwing nodded "M'Fine…now I get why Bruce needed a break from those two"

"Yeah, and he stuck us with them" Red Hood groaned.

Nightwing cracked a smile. Only Red Hood's complaining could make him cheer up that fast. "I think we'll survive, besides, he could use the night off"

"Sure, he's probably off proving his title of a playboy right now" Red Hood smirks beneath his mask.

Nightwing rolled his eyes "Only you would think that"

"Oh don't act all innocent, you were thinking it too"

"Thinking what?" Red Robin and Robin both asked at the same time.

Red Hood and Nightwing both felt their faces heat up and coughed out a "Nothing"

Red Robin raised a brow at the two. "Huh?"

"Never mind" Nightwing told him, eager to get away from the awkward topic. "Look, it's getting late…let's head to the east side and stake out there. Nothing's gonna happen here. Robin and Red Robin, you two take the docks. Red Hood and I will take the central area"

Robin scoffed "Oh please Grayson, you just want Todd all for yourself" He joked with a suggestive smirk on his face before jumping off the rooftop and landing on the one across from it, leaving a very red Nightwing.

"Hey, wait up idiot!" Red Robin yelled, chasing after him.

Red Hood chuckled and patted Nightwing on the shoulder.

"Come on Dickie-boy, race ya"

Next Chapter: Courtesy of Cat woman

* * *

Haha, I just thought it would be funny if the big bad Red Hood had a pet kitty XD who knows, maybe she'll make an appearance...oh! I just had another idea for a chapter!

P.S. Review! and add any ideas for drabbles and cat names!


	2. Courtesy of Catwoman pt1

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but my own words. **

**This was inspired by a comic on DeviantART, since I can't post links here. It's called 'Felines' by 'Colours07' on DA. **

**This is a two parter, here's the first part.**

_**~Donakiko**_

* * *

"I told you they were working on something in there" Selina purred, leaning back on one of the sofa's in the sitting room of Wayne Manner.

"I understand that…what you failed to tell me was what it was" Bruce, still in Batman gear, growled back at her.

Selina shrugged "I didn't even know what it was, all I knew was that it had something to do with testing and animals….put two-and-two together and you get me snooping around. You didn't have to come"

"I had to make sure you didn't do anything….drastic" Batman's eyes narrowed.

"Is that the only reason?" Selina asked, a suggestive smile playing on her face.

"Yes"

Selina's smile fell. "Fine" She stood and walked over to the open window, placing one foot on the pane and glancing back at him. "I'll get back to my apartment and scan through the data that the lab had, see if I can find something to reverse this"

"And in the mean time?"

"Hey, they're your birds. And you know what happens when you leave birds with a cat" Selina smiled at him. She waved before jumping out the window and disappearing into the night.

Batman stood there for a moment, trying to prepare his mind for what he would have to do until Selina found an antidote for whatever that gas was that had hit his four sons.

"RRREEEEOOOOOWWWWW!"

Batman sighed and pulled his cowl down, unclipping the cape and setting it on the sofa for Alfred to put away. He left the sitting room and walked back out to the entrance hall, glaring at the two creatures that were locked in a cat fight on the tiled floor.

"Damian, that's enough" Bruce's voice commanded.

A small grey cat looked up at Bruce from where he was currently chewing on the ear of another cat. "Meow!"

Bruce reached down and gripped the cat by the scruff of its neck before reaching down again and lifting the other cat into his arm. "Are you alright Tim?"

The white cat let out a low, painful meow before licking its grey paw and pressing it against its ear. All four of Tim's paws were grey, making it seem like he was wearing socks.

Bruce set the two back on the ground, narrowing his eyes at them as they ducked their heads in shame.

"No fighting. I told you that before and I'm telling you again. At least try to get along until we can reverse this. Understand?"

Tim and Damian let out a small meow which Bruce hoped meant 'Yes' since he didn't speak cat. "Good. Now, where are Jason and Dick?"

Tim meowed loudly and jumped up, running up the stair with Damian close behind.

Bruce followed them, hoping that they were leading him to his older sons and not just trying to run away from him so they could claw each other to shreds.

As he climbed the stair to the upper level of the manor, Bruce's mind wandered back to what happened after he came back from the lab.

* * *

_Batman helped Catwoman sit down onto the sofa, her hand wrapped around her upper arm where she had been hit by one of the empty cages that the men had thrown at them._

_"Are you sure you're alright?" He asked, inspecting the grimace of pain on her face._

_She smiled, pulling off her mask. "Better be careful Brucie. That almost sounded like you were concerned there"_

_The corner of his lip twitched up in a slight, barely noticeable smirk. "I'll be right back. I need to put these in the Bat cave to analyse them later." He told her, showing the metal disk tray like object with several vials of a clear blue-ish liquid. _

_He straightened himself and walked out, crossing the entrance hall and into the study._

_"Careful you don't drop it" He heard Selina shout after him before the wooden door closed behind him. Bruce walked over to the grandfather clock in the study, one of the entrances to the cave. The clock slid across the wall, revealing a staircase which descended down into the earth._

_He walked down the stair, hearing the clock slide back into place after him and descended into the cave. Shouts met his ears halfway down._

_"Damian! You're supposed to only use the blunted weapons!" _

_"If you are too scared of being hurt Drake, then simply quit or stop being such a female!"_

_"Jay, quit it!"_

_"Why didn't you tell me you were ticklish Dickie!"_

_Bruce sighed and calmly walked the last few steps of the stairs until he was in the familiar dark, damp cave. Glancing around he looked for his protégés _

_Damian and Tim were currently wrestling. Several ninja stars sticking out from the ground and the wall, Tim taking care to avoid them while blocking Damian's attacks with his own Bo staff._

_A loud laughing came from over by the Batcomputer. Dick was seated in the chair, lying on his side with his knees to his chest and Jason leaning over him, attempting to tickle Dick's stomach._

_"Nice to see you all training" Bruce announced. Causing all four of the boys to freeze like statues and turn their attention to him._

_"Sup Bruce" Jason greeted with a grin on his face. "How'd your date go?"_

_Bruce narrowed his eyes "It was not a date. I was helping Catwoman with infiltration of a-"_

_"Yeah yeah, whatever you wanna call it, either way, you were still alone with your girlfriend" Jason cut him off, being the only one in existence with enough nerve (Or a death wish) to do so._

_"So uh, what's that?" Dick asked, trying to defuse the tension between Jason and Bruce._

_Bruce held up the metal disk and walked over to the Batcomputer, setting it beside the key board. "Some sort of chemical we think they were testing on the animals. The thing is, there were only cats in the lab."_

_"So, it's a cat drug?" Tim asked, walking over to the computer._

_"Could be, I'll have to analyse it tomorrow. For now, all of you need to get some sleep." Bruce told them, nodded particularly at Tim and Damian. "Don't think I've forgotten that you two have school"_

_Damian scowled at the mention of School. "Very well father"_

_"Can we just finish up first? I was about to beat 'Devil-Damian'" Tim asked, glancing over at Damian._

_"You are clearly delusional Drake, I was seconds away from defeating you"_

_"That's what you think" _

_Bruce nodded, then turned his head to Dick and Jason._

_"I just need to finish up some work on a new mobster boss in Bludhaven. Jason can keep an eye and make sure Tim and Damian don't kill each other" Dick explained._

_"Woah woah, I didn't sign up for babysitting duty" Jason protested._

_"Relax, Jay. You can help me with the research while we both keep an eye on them"_

_Jason crossed his arms and grumbled a 'fine'_

_Bruce nodded again. "Alright, don't stay up too late. I need to make sure Selina's sticky fingers haven't latched onto anything." _

_Bruce turned and headed back for the stairs, stopping when he heard a shout that made his stomach drop._

_"DAMIAN!" _

* * *

Next chapter: Courtesy of Catwoman pt.2

Each reviewer get's to hug Damian XD

Damian: When did I agree to this?!

Me: Since I threatened to stuff you in a bunny suit and throw you into a crowd of fangirls

Damian: You never threatened me with that

Me: Well I did now!


End file.
